#7. An Incredible Wedding Day and Night

#7. An Incredible Wedding Day and Night

Most people do not wait until marriage to have sex. However, when those people reach their wedding day, many often suddenly wish that they had waited. You’ll hear guys reporting this of their fiancées several times over your life: “Yeah, she got a little emotional because she suddenly wished we had waited till marriage for sex.”

With some couples, one person (usually the girl) will cut off sex a few months before the wedding, so they can “wait” until the big day and then start having sex again. Again, the guys will gripe about this: “Dude! She’s making me wait now! She says no more sex until the wedding. Ugh.”

If you ask one of these people to explain why they wanted to cut off sex before the wedding (or why they feel pangs of regret about the fact that they didn’t wait in the first place) they will give you this answer: “Because I want our wedding day to be special.”

Why wouldn’t it be special anyways? You’re committing yourself fully to the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with! That’s a special day under any circumstance, right? Why do you need to cut off sex until the wedding to make it feel “special?” Why doesn’t it feel special enough already?

I’ll tell you why it doesn’t feel special enough.

Because they’ve already committed themselves fully to the person they’re marrying. They’ve been in love, having sex, and (usually) living together for years now.

The wedding day is beautiful, but except legalities, it doesn’t change anything. It does not mark the end of one era (as separate people) and beginning of another (as one) as clearly as it’s supposed to. It’s just a fancy solidification of the lifestyle that they’re already living. After the wedding, they don’t go back to a new life — they go back to the exact same life.

And they know that if they wait on sex, even for a small amount of time, it will make the wedding more special because it will make the wedding feel like it marks a change for the better. It will mean the end of their (brief) time physically apart, and the renewal of their time physically together, and send their marriage off to a more romantic and sexier start. It will make the day more significant.

Most couples that cut off sex a few months before the wedding report afterward that they’re glad they did it. Even the guys will begrudgingly admit “Yeah, it was frustrating, but it definitely did make the wedding night and honeymoon a little more special.”

As you can imagine, if stopping sex for a few months leading up to the wedding makes the wedding noticeably more special and meaningful, then waiting your whole life without having sex until the wedding night makes the wedding spectacularly more special and meaningful — totally off-the-charts specialness.

For you, the person who waits, your wedding day and night will be everything every Hallmark card, every romance novel, every poem, every religious text, and every little girl’s fantasy says a wedding should be. All of the symbolism — turning from two lives into one, owning each other in every way, making a commitment with body and soul — will be physically real to you and present throughout your wedding day and night.

Others will reach their wedding day and find themselves thinking “Sigh…I kind of wish we had waited”. You will reach your wedding day and think “I’m so glad we waited!”